Sunset Tan Janelle Perry Loves Fat Jewish Guy.

Sorry mom.

I am in love with a shiksa.

Janelle is perfect.

Think she would appreciate our family dinners?

Think Janelle would enjoy the 5 course meals?

Or do you think she might just nibble on the Carpas while we pig out on meatballs, turkey, brisket, kasha, bow ties, soup, matzah balls and then dessert?

I don’t know the answer either.

After drinking two cups of liquid candy. (hot chocolate, banana latte, vanilla cappuccino)

I tried to actually eat healthy today.

So, I made myself 4 chicken thighs and 2 heads of lettuce.

Then I had 5 chicken fingers.

Two ice pops.

3 candy bars.

ok…I tried to eat healthy.

Mom…I found the one.

Be happy for me.

Janelle Perry from Sunset Tan.

I can’t believe that I was in New York just this morning.

Bu some modern miracle, I took off at 6 am, flew for 8 hours and landed at 10.

I think it has something to do with a flex capacitor, but I wasn’t sure.

San Diego hasn’t changed much since I left.
The airport, looked the same, and shorty had the same car.

It was nice to come back to some consistency.

As we drove down the freeway, (highway for you East Coasters) I marveled at the palm trees, the crystal clear waters and the 70 degree temperature.

Just a few hours earlier I was in the cold weather.

Now, I was back in paradise.

Not to say that I don’t miss the east.

I do.

A lot.

But for now I am in Cali.

I went to an all you can eat sushi buffet for lunch.

Then I took a nap.

Then a Turkey leg for dinner.

Wait, I forgot.

While I was waiting for the leg to cook, I ate a hot dog.

Still not a bad day.

The Three Amigos, which is Spanish for “the two friends” was on TV.

Popped some popcorn and watched it.

It really is a good movie.

I had forgotten.

Yet, as the movie ended, I tried to think about what my El Guapo is.

As of this writing, I am not sure what my personal El Guapo stands for.

I will contemplate and let you know.

But for now, it’s seltzer time.

Just something to think about….

15 dollars for all you can eat sushi.

Think I might get sick?

Decaf.

Potato Salad.

Lunch -

Salad, rice, miso soup, salmon.

Walmart.

Nap.
Dinner.

Are you ready?

Chips, salsa, dip, pita, veggies, pigs n blankets, latkes, apple sauce, cranberry sauce, turkey, cakes, cupcakes, spinach puffs, pizza rolls, rice crispy treats, chocolate dipped strawberries.

You wonder why this post is so short?

It is because I am full.

Tired, full and happy.

I ate 5 meals today.

Let’s see.

I woke up after having a horrible allergy attack last night.

Basically, I didn’t sleep.

My body hurt from playing gold yesterday as well.

I know I forgot to mention it on my post, but so much has happened in the past few days, and I don’t exactly need to tell you everything I do, so lets just put the past behind us and move forward…OK?

I didn’t really play golf though.

I went to a driving range and tried my best.

But I guess my best wasn’t good enough.

I gave it my all.

You know the rest.

So back to my aching body.

I wander downstairs and wow….there are pancakes.

Yup.

With melted butter, syrup and all the fixings.

Basically, I think her mom was trying to kill me.

You see.

Where I come from pancakes are light and fluffy.

Here, they were deep fried.

So delicious though.

But anyway, as I start to eat my pancakes there was a surprise.

Shorty had made me pigs in a blanket.

I can’t complain.

She knew I would be homesick on thanksgiving so since I had told her I liked them, she actually made them from scratch.

That was good.

I settle in to watch some football and shorty went out to pick up meat for the Persian’s engagement party.

After a few minutes she comes home and says she has a present.

You won’t believe it.

Hard salami.

To be honest, it wasn’t hard.

And it wasn’t good.

But, it was just what I needed.

This shorty cares about me.

Maybe I will let her become my baby’s momma?

So then we hang out and go to dinner.

Dinner means a feast.

I get there and there is cheese, crackers, chips, salsa, veggies, dip, coffee and soda.

Of course I head straight to the dessert table and start eating brownies.

After eating so much swiss cheese, we finally get called to dinner.

Yeah, I know what your thinking.

Didn’t you just eat?

Nope.

That was the pre game.

Now for the festivities.

The turkey was off the bone so there was no drumstick to be had.

Why my family never thought of that is beyond me.

So many fights happened over those drumsticks that maybe if someone would have thought for a minute, the issues would have been resolved ages ago.

But no.

So I filled my plate with turkey, stuffing (let me tell you about this stuffing. It had raisins in it), sweet potatoes, corn soufflé, cranberry sauce (from the can…my favorite), and some other stuff I can’t remember.

After going back for seconds and checking the score of the USC game, I ascertained that I probably have diabetes.

No problem though.

I will see a doctor next week.

Dessert was out of this world.

Carrot cake, pumpkin and chocolate chip brownies, jello mold (8 layers biotches), fruit salad, chocolate covered strawberries, mousse pie and chocolate.

Some coffee to wash it down and we were good to go.

USC won, but who cares?

I am from Philly.

We head back to San Diego with 15 pounds of kosher lamb in the back of the car.

Also some brisket for later.

The drive was ok.

No eating for me, but I learned that I know every single word to every single Mariah Carey song.

We get to the Persian’s house and the butler lets us in.

He was Venezuelan or something.

After making us remove our shoes and giving us monogrammed slippers we walked into her bedroom.

The Persian was sitting there and the Mexican was doing her nails.

There was 2 people braiding her hair in the traditional braids.

It was a little intense, but it is not everyday that someone gets engaged.

Tomorrow night is the big feast.

I got on the trampoline and we all talked for a bit.

It was late though, and the Mexican hinted to us that everyone needed to go to sleep.

We walked outside together and discussed what is going to breakdown tomorrow night.

I was handed a bag of walnuts and shorty was given a bag of rice to throw at the couple in between the fish platter and the main course.

Now though, it’s time to rest.

We are back in town and getting ready to sleep.

The brisket is in the microwave and the diet plans are ready for Saturday.
‘
It’s been a great few days.

Though I am sad that I wasn’t with my family, I was happy with what I had.

It could not have been a better holiday.

Well maybe.

Next year, we will all be together.

At the Persian’s wedding.

In La Jolla.

Yup.

This place exists.

Somewhere in LA there is a coffee shop bearing that name.

I walk in there and get a cup.

“One coffee please.”

They had no idea what I ordered.

Do i want full body or medium?

I said large.

She was like no, what kind of coffee do I want.

I replied with, “Who’s on first.”

I got my coffee.

Also, I finally had a hard salami sandwich.

Not bad for the West coast.

But I digress.

I got to see the Reagen Presidential library and also found out that the inventor of the Bra Clasp is from LA.

Random.

So I get back to the house and take a nap.

Then dinner.

Brisket, potatoes, lots of ketchup, salad, bread, apple sauce, mashed potatoes, brownies, coffee, cookies.

I Love this Holiday.

Then to Starbucks.

Now finally Tums and sleep.

TURKEY TOMORROW!!