I am still in shock that I was on the red carpet at the Hawaiian Tropic Zone opening in Las Vegas over the weekend.

It’s been two days since I got home, and I still catch myself flashing back to the weekend and wondering when I will get to go back.

Just kidding.

I catch myself dreaming about what I am going to eat next.

Breakfast was just toast with some peanut butter.

Nothing glamorous, although I did have some hot chocolate as well.

Here is my new thing.

I go to 7-11 and mix, Vanilla Cappuccino, Hot Chocolate, and Banana Latte.

It is like candy.

Warm, hot, candy.

Then I went to teach Hebrew school.

My 6th grade students had no idea what I had done over the weekend.

They had no idea that I was interviewing the likes of Mario Lopez.

Since I was tired and only 3 kids showed up, we made Jewopoly.

That’s my take on Monopoly.

We also ate Jelly Beans.

They were only allowed 5 each, but I got a handful.

After I got home and napped, I ate some baked ziti.

Low fat baked ziti.

It was ok, but I could barely taste the food as I was busy watching the Millionaire Matchmaker on Bravo.

AMAZING.

Patty had the greatest quote ever.

Chateau Ghetto.

But anyway, it seems like just yesterday when I was at Sephora interviewing the cast.

Wait.

That was yesterday.

I noticed though that Allison was missing from this episode.

Where was she?

Who knows?

Who cares?

I do.

Why?

Because she is a HOT JEWISH GIRL.

Look at this video.

Do I have a chance? (I think she likes me)

Well, I am back.

Finally after 4 days in Sin City its back to San Diego and reality for me.

I had so much good food, met so many cool people, and partied my ass off with Playmates, Penthouse Pets, Celebs and had an amazing time.

However it’s time to sleep as I have an event in LA in the morning.

What is it?

Shhhhh.

I can’t say.

It’s huge though.

However, with all the flying and parties and food, I did go out with Shorty tonight for dionner.

Italian food.

While the Calzone was good, the company was better.

It can’t all be like this video.

Ummm.

Maybe.

But it’s called heaven.

Hawaiian Tropic Zone las Vegas.

GO THERE NOW!

Tell them Fat Jewish Guy sent you.

When I was in Vegas last month, I heard about a horrible event.

Reading my cell phone while eating at the buffet, I read about how a tiger killed two kids at the San Francisco Zoo.

Tragic.

The parents of the kids are suing.

The zoo is embarrassed because their wall was not high enough.

Two kids are dead..

But, alas, there is hope.

Apparently the police found out that the tiger was being taunted.

Yup.

As I was eating two turkey drumsticks that I had barbecued to perfection, I came upon this story.

It seems that the kids went to the edge of the tiger pit and started yelling at the tiger and calling him names.

Uhh…..

So what?

Two kids called a tiger names.

Even if they called him the N word and the C word and told him to go F himself, what does that matter?

It’s a freaking Tiger.

The zoo is claiming that they are now not responsible.

Are you kidding me?

Does the Tiger have a lawyer?

Is the tiger trying to clear his name.

Where have we come in this world.

Two kids are dead.

This isn’t grrrrreat, its sad.

Shame on you zoo lawyers.

I could go on this rant all night.

But i won’t.

There is food to eat.

Obama Shirts to buy.

I think I will eat some Frosted Flakes.

Finally, I am home.

After 4 days in Las Vegas, the plane landed at 6:50 pm.

Never happier to be back in San Diego.

Let’s start in the morning.

I woke up to the Vegas sunshine filling my room and burning my eyes.

Went downstairs to spin the wheel.

Let me explain.

When you join a “rewards club” in Vegas, you can spin the wheel once a day and maybe, you will win some comp dollars.

They then expect you to spend all the money you saved at the casino and after that is done, reach into your wallet and spend some more.

So, of course Shorty and I didn’t win anything off the wheel today.

It was enough that she won 50 yesterday.

On the way back to the room, I saw a light.

Actually, it was many flashing lights, but it was calling my name.

I sat down at the Wheel of Fortune machine, put in 5 bucks and immediately won 75.

Yes!

Cashed out.

(well maybe played some blackjack first)

Then went to the room, checked out and headed to the buffet for my last Vegas meal.

2 hours later, (I kid you not) we left the dining room and I immediately went to the rest room.

3 pieces of roast beef, pasta al fredo, salad, cakes, soda, coffee and watermelon for breakfast just wasn’t sitting right with me.

So, we went to the airport.

Now we are home.

I only had 4 bags of nuts on the plane.

As we pulled into the parking lot, fireworks went off.

It was as if they were celebrating our arrival.

It was really the college bowl game going on near by.

Unpacked and made a pizza pita.

For a snack, I had 2 lamb chops.

Now, finally, I can go to sleep.

Before I talk about eating at a Las Vegas Buffet, I would like to start with breakfast.

Going down to the lobby at 9:30 am was interesting.

Women, makeup all smeared, wearing clothes from the night before and drinking coffee was a wold site.

What kind of night did they have?

Who were they with?

Will they regret it when they get to their room?

These were all questions I pondered as I ate my eggs.

Two over hard.

Shredded potatoes and soem coffee.

Then we went out.

Day trip.

We returned to the hotel and I realized something.

If an alien were to land in Las Vegas today, they would think that America is made up of Persians and Asians.

That is all that is here.

A few Jews here and there, but mostly Persians and Asians.

So, I wait in line at the buffet for an hour.

The pace was slow.

Everyone wanted to eat.

I did my due diligence and took a walk around before I ate.

Believe it or not, I only had two pieces of prime rib, a piece of lamb, salad, ice cream, two mousse pies, 2 cups of coffee and 3 diet cokes.

It sounds like a lot, but I could have done a lot more damage.

Walking around Las Vegas at night, I wondered why all of Persia was here.

Must be tradition.

Tomorrow Chinese food.