All Entries Tagged With: "girls"

Blonde Girls Raise My Blood Pressure

Blonde Girls Raise My Blood Pressure
So, I have news.
This evening I went to the drugstore for some random things.
Saw what looked like a video game.
Figured it was free so what was the harm.
Inserted my arm into the cuff, pressed play and waited
The numbers started flashing and after a few seconds I saw my score.
159 [...]

Hooters Girls Love Fat Jewish Guy

Hooters Girls Love Fat Jewish Guy
Wow.
It has been a long and hard day.
Don’t even ask, but I almost forgo to eat.
Well, I almost forgot to eat not healthy is what I mean.
The day started off great.
I harassed Amber Lee Ettinger on her live chat.
Let’s just say it was “sistable”.
But then it got stressful.
So, I ate [...]

Virgin Mary Dildo For Easter

Virgin Mary Dildo For Easter I really can't believe it.
I get an email today from the website
SexToy.com, they were telling me that they have a special Easter
Selection.
Apparently, this includes a Virgin Mary Dildo.
Even though I am Jewish, I feel like this is very
inappropriate.
 Totally disgusting and utterly blasphemous.
Unless I get to [...]

DJ Cassidy Hot Jewish Girls Obama T Shirts

DJ Cassidy Hot Jewish Girls Obama T Shirts

Once again, I got another message on my phone.
I tried calling back the number, but all I got was a sexy voice with a voice mail.
Left a message and told her to call me.
I am thinking it’s a prank, but who knows?
I had bigger things to worry about.
Since [...]

I Have A Dream Let The Taco Bell Ring

Go back to New York, go back to West Palm Beach, go back to Fort Lauderdale, go back to Philadelphia, go back to Beverly Hills, go back to the suburbs and gated communities of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed.
Let us not wallow in the valley of despair. [...]

Have a Great 2008

Let me tell you that Monopoly with debit cards is Bull Sh*t.
First of all, you can’t get free parking since there is nothing in the middle to take.
Second, instead of Boardwalk and Park Place there is Times Square and Fenway Park.

Fenway Park?
Are the Parker Brothers high?
Like really.
And rent on Fenway with hotels is 15 million [...]

A Random Commandment

One of the commandments tells you, “though shall not covet thy neighbor’s wife.”
Well, I don’t covet anyone.
I don’t even know what that means.
Actually, if I were to covet anything it would be the awesome rice crispy treat that I am eating right now at the Egyptian Tea Room.
So here is the dilemma.
This girl wants to [...]