Amber Lee Ettinger Sings for Fat Jewish Guy

Remember Obama Girl?

You know, Amber Lee Ettinger?

Well, if you don’t know who she is, Amber got famous for singing Crush on Obama.

What many people don’t know, is that the real story behind that video was it was supposed to be a duet with me and her singing about our love for TV drama.

They lyrics were supposed to be:

Amber:

Hey FJG it’s me if your there pick up.

I was watching you on the food network anyway call me back

You dropped a Cheeto on the floor

Temple dorms 2004

I never loved anyone more and you’re a Jew.

Me -

I put down my chocolate bar

Cause i know that your a star

Hot, Cute and Sexy your so fine

Both of us -

Cause we both love TV drama.

We cannot wait till 2008

The TV shows will be first rate

We got law & order and even CSI

Amber -

Why don’t you pick up the phone

Me -

Cause I got a crush on TV drama.

Anyway, I guess that video never worked out and Amber went on to bigger and better.

Check out her new video.

and this one

How To Cook A Philly CheeseSteak Fat Jewish Guy Way

It’s so ironic.

Here I am with a great post called How to Cook A Philly CheeseSteak, and while I am writing I am eating a wholewheat English Muffin made with Provolone Cheese and Ketchup.

The muffin tastes like crap, and all I really want is a fat juicy steak.

Wait.

I had that for dinner.

All I really want is a nice big Ice Cream cone.

That’s better.

Anyway back to How to cook Philly cheesesteaks.

This video should explain it all.

Enjoy.

Cooking With Fat Jewish Guy

How to cook a Philly CheeseSteak.

Paul Murad Gets Engaged Jews Eat Soup

Another day of being sick.

I woke up around 12:30, felt weak, but still managed to eat a few pieces of candy and a salad.

Wandered around the house, almost in a daze, trying to shake off this bug that I got, but a 20 minute shower and cup of tea, almost made me feel better.

Almost.

So, I head to the car, get in, turn it on, crank the radio, start to drive.

What was that rattle?

Stop the car, turn down the radio and start driving again.

Rattle.

Damn.

I go outside and see that my rear tire was flat.

What does this genius do?

I didn’t have time to call AAA and was to weak to change the tire.

Wait.

Who am I kidding?

I just didn’t feel like it and didn’t want to get dirty.

So, I drove to the closest tire place, resigned that it was going to cost me a fortune.

But, someone was smiling down on me, because I still had a warranty on the tire and the whole thing cost $6.00.

Finally, I made it to Hebrew School, where I ate jelly beans and taught about passover.

Then home.

So nauseous.

Need chicken soup.

Shorty and I were watching TV on the couch.

The Millionaire Matchmaker to be exact.

Who did I see on it?

My friend Paul Murad.

Yup, the same Paul Murad who entertained me while I was in Vegas a few weeks ago.

Apparently Patti Stanger was fixing him up with a nice Jewish girl.

Cidney.

It’s funny how small a world this is.

HotJewishGirls.com wanted her to to be featured, but we never got in touch.

Now that I know she is dating paul, I never would have asked.

But anyway, Fat Jewish Guy, wishes Skinny Jewish Millionaire and Hot Jewish Girl luck.

I hope they are registered at Walmart.

By the way, Paul has a book.

Buy it.

My book comes out next week.

Seriously.

But first chicken soup.

Go Hillary!

“Bitch is the new black!”

Happy birthday grandpa……..We miss you.

How Not To Fix A Shower

Basically, I took it easy today.

Slept a lot and did some work.

I realized something today.

I am in love.

Totally crazy head over heals in love.

Her name is Hewlett.

Her last name is Packard.

But, I have a wandering eye.

I am thinking of cheating.

The new girls name is Apple.

I WANT A MAC!!!!

PC’s are so freaking slow.

I cannot take it anymore.

So, besides being a Fat Jewish Guy, I am going to work really really hard to buy one.

Breaking News.

I am becoming a handy man.

Hawaiian Tropic Zone Girls Feed Me.

No, you haven’t seen this video.

In the spirit of shabbat, I decided to treat you guys to a new one.

I have so much footage of half naked chicks feeding me that I feel like I need to share.

But first.

Finally, after weeks and weeks of neglecting shul, I decided to go tonight.

It’s good for the soul.

It’s also apparently good for the belly.

so get this.

Challah, Hummus, Olive Spread, pasta salad, Salad, Chinese salad, soup, chicken, rice, carrot kugul, mousse and a cup of tea was what I ate tonight.

Wait.

I had string cheese on my way there.

So, full.

However, I had to stop at 7-11 to get my fix.

Yup.

Liquid candy.

I am psyched.

Shabbat Shalom.

Enjoy the girls!

Stacey Keibler Loves Fat Jewish Guys

More on that in a minute.

Right now I am pissed off.

No, not because it’s 1 am and I just ate three hot dogs triggering my heartburn.

Well, maybe.

But, no.

I am mad because people are insulting my intelligence.

I was watching this show.

Something with a lie detector test.

Yes, I like stupid TV.

Yes, I like to eat, but so what…It’s my life.

But anyway, these people are in a chair with their families being asked embarrassing questions.

If they tell the truth, they get money.

Here is the only problem.

They aren’t attached to a lie detector.

It is obvious they were asked the questions before and re asked them on camera.

Thats fine with me.

No problems yet.

The issue is that they act all surprised when they are asked the questions.

How can they be surprised? They were asked the questions before.

Oh well, that’s the magic of TV.

Why don’t you see this video I took with Stacey Keibler.

No TV magic here.

Damn, I need some TUMS.

If you want to contact Fat Jewish Guy or book me or a show please click here.

FatJewishGuy.com

The Millionaire Matchmaker My New Heroin.

I can’t get enough.

This show is addicting.

If you haven’t seen it do it now.

It’s on Bravo.

I came home from a very long day.

Shorty had chicken ready.

I was about to wolf it down and work on Hot Jewish Girls, but I couldn’t get up.

In the movie Train Spotting, they talked about how the high of Heroin is like 100 times your best orgasm.

Well a combination of American Idol and The Millionaire Matchmaker is 1000 times better then that.

(sorry Shorty, it’s true)

But if I back up a bit to waking up.

I was hungry.

So, I made fettuccine al fredo.

Yup.

That was breakfast.

Lunch was tasty also.

Fillet o Fish at McDonald’s.

Did you know they have Wi Fi there?

Now I do.

Now my Tuesday’s are complete.

Teaching, McDonald’s, Shorty, Hot Jewish Girls, American Idol and The Millionaire Matchmaker.

If there is a rehab for pop culture junkie I would need it.

Stat.

Help me out here.

FatJewishGuy.com has been getting a lot of traffic from forums.flightinfo.com.

I want to know why.

True, I have flown lately.

True, I have asked for Flight Info, but normally I just go online and check on the website.

I tried looking on the site, but it costs ten dollars to join.

If you happen to be a member of the Flight Info Forums, please shoot me an email and tell me what it says about me?

I am curious.

If you are really lucky, I will provide you with one free Flight Info gathering for you.

Here is what I propose.

The first person who tells me why my link is in that forum will get detailed info on a flight.

Meaning.

You tell me your Flight Info and I will tell you if it’s on time.

Deal?

In the meantime, I had some good food today.

Rolled Tacos from La Salsa.

Guacamole.

Chips.

Dinner:

Farfalle pasta with salmon in a vodka sauce. (Farfalle is Spanish for bow tie) and a chocolate mousse cake for dessert.

I also received a surprise email from my new adversary.

No, not the Riddler.

The landlord.

Looks like we might settle.

But, I am to full right now to even think about it.

You know what?

I’m gonna just look at some Hot Jewish Girls in the meantime.

And check on my flight.

Oh yeah, Crowned is on tonight. Who will get de-sashed?

My heart was broken today.

No, things are ok with Shorty.

No, they had those little vanilla creamers this morning at 7-11.

My heart didn’t break over the fact that I didn’t get a chance to eat lunch.

However, I got very upset at the site of TO crying after the loss to the NY Giants.

I mean, he IS my quarterback.

My Quarterback.

It’s not fair.

TO, Fat Jewish Guy loves you.

Even though you left Philadelphia.

It’s impossible to get good pasta in Dallas.

Shorty made me some pasta tonight though.

It was yummmm.

Baked in the oven till it was crispy.

Actually, some say it was burned.

Do NOT blame shorty.

She is my pasta maker.

MY Pasta Maker!

So, Shorty tells me today that she bought 100 calorie Oreo Cookie packs.

I was excited to try them.

100 Calories?

This was gonna be amazing, I figured that I could eat like 5 packs and it would be cool.

I was so excited that all I ate today was pretzels.

(Shhh….”borrowed” them from a fellow teachers classroom)

When I got home from school, Shorty had made chicken.

It was actually very good, and I wolfed it down forgetting that I needed to save room for dessert.

(Notice I spelled dessert right? I remember that dessert has 2 S’ because you want more, Desert only has 1)

But anyway, when it was time to eat my cookies, I was shocked.

Not in a good way.

These cookies were the size of a nickel.

Then there were only 6 of them.

HUH?

That’s when it hit me.

This whole 100 calorie thing is a SCAM.

They shrink the product and then package it for you.

AND then charge you double.

So, I have an idea.

This is how you can make your own 100 calorie packs.

You need two things.

A Scale or Measuring cup.

Bags.

Step one - measure out 100 calories.

Step 2 - put the food in a bag.

Spend the money you save.

Fat Jewish Guy says You’re Welcome.

I’m gonna look at some pictures of Hot Jewish Girls now.

hotjewishgirls.com