Fat Jews Cannot Be Killed Boot Camp For Your Mind Write Up

Booyah.

Like the Backstreet Boys, I’m back.

Wait.

That’s gay.

I’m back like Arnold said he would be.

Ok, that’s better.

Anyway, apparently eating a whole watermelon in a day is not normal.

My aunt told me that.

I don’t believe her.

So, I ate a 16 pound watermelon today.

One small New York Strip steak.

And a salad.

Watching my weight.

Phentramine!

I love it.

Amy Applebaum of Boot Camp For Your Mind wrote a nice blog about me.

Fat Jewish Guy In A Mini Van

So, the Chantix is finally kicking in.

Felt a little down today.

Not my usual self.

I even cheated on my diet.

Yup, I went out for a Turkey wrap with pesto sauce.

I know, I know.

Bad me.

But hey, you only live once right?

Maybe this whole Boot Camp For Your Mind thing is gonna work out?

Anyway, I drove up to Palm Springs, alone in Shorty’s mini van because she was already up there.

Or down there.

Or East there.

Not sure how you say it, but she was already at the condo if that makes any sense.

Who knew a Dodge Caravan could go 120?

(just kidding…:)

As I was driving I thought about the past week.

Remember I am depressed right?

It’s called reflecting.

Then I reflected on what I did this week.

And suddenly, I wasn’t so depressed anymore.

Boot Camp For Your Mind Hot Bikini Model Loves Fat Jewish Guy

Not sure what I am doing right to deserve this treatment.

I mean I’m just a Fat Jewish Guy.

Well, almost not as fat.

But, still Jewish.

I was talking to Amy Applebaum from Boot Camp For Your Mind (bootcampforyourmind.com), shes a life coach and she was so impressed with my new desire to “get back on track” with my eating she even offered me a free session.

Regardless, I was so busy today that I forgot to eat.

Yeah, I know.

Had a pickle for breakfast, a power bar for lunch and dinner was three drumsticks.

Later me and Shorty went out for yogurt.

I think she was a bit mad at me.

Maybe this has something to do with it?

I am officially strung out.

Ok, I am being a bit dramatic here, it’s only 1:40 am and I am almost done my day.

It’s been 6 days and I lost 8 lbs.

Today was great.

Woke up to a tomato and 4 chicken drumsticks and went to bed with carne asada, fries, corn and edamame.

I managed to drink tons of water and even got in an iced coffee from Starbucks.

I think I’m becoming anorexic.

Maybe I’ll start cutting myself also.

I’m so mad that Bobby didn’t take me to the prom.

Please love me mommy.

Damn.

There goes those thoughts again.

Maybe it’s time to sleep.

By the way…I think this is a racist cartoon.

Not sure though.

This is crazy.

Check this out.

I have been awake for 15 hours and I can list in one breath what I ate.

2 pieces of chicken, salad, a tomatoes and cheese sandwich and 5 oz of steak.

That’s it.

OK, maybe there was some watermelon somewhere in there.

Fine.

Maybe it was a half a watermelon.

But regardless, thats all.

No snacks, no soda, no coffee, no ice cream.

This drug is the best.

You know what else is the best?

Ghetto chicks.

Paul Murad Phone Call

Paul Murad from the millionaire matchmaker on Bravo keeps calling me.

We keep missing each other because I am too busy eating.

Just kidding.

Well, maybe I am not.

On the subject of food, today is my last hurrah.

See, I have a doctor appointment tomorrow.

During that appointment I will probably hear a few things that won’t sound too good.

High Blood pressure.
High Blood Sugar
High Cholesterol
Need to lose weight.
Need to quit smoking

So, I am following the tv commercials advice and will be telling the doctor what drugs I want.

Chantix for smoking.
Lipitor for Cholesteral
Tenormin for Blood Pressure

and Wilford Brimley for the diabetes.

Will let you know how it turns out.

In the meantime, enjoy this video of me on CBS news.

Oh yeah, Paul Murad... we can talk after 3pm my time…

Check out this video: FatJewishGuy . com SDSU08 . com Drug Bust Shirt News Clip

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Fat Jewish Guy One Second Cameo In Hot Obama Girl Video

I ate Arby’s Roast Beef today.

I will never eat Arby’s Roast Beef again.

It was nasty and disgusting.

I thought I was getting grandma’s brisket.

Instead I got crap.

On a brighter note, the BarelyPolitical people finally put my fat jewish guy ass in a video.

One second.

That’s all I get.

Whatever, ‘m famous. (45 seconds in don’t blink) (yes that’s me with Senator Mike Gravel and Obama Girl Amber Lee Ettinger)