All Entries Tagged With: "fat jewish guy"
Obama Girl on Bill Oreilly
Obama Girl on Bill O’Reilly
What a day.
It started out with cold pizza. (you would think that would make it a good day.)
Yes, the pizza from last night was waiting for me as I got out of bed this morning.
Two slices, some garlic bread and coffee makes for a great breakfast.
Then, I got to work.
Getting up [...]
The Jewish Mafia
The Jewish Mafia
Lost in all of the news about Barack Obama, the tie football game and America’s obesity problem, there was a great news story yesterday and if you blinked you missed it.
The head of the Jewish mafia was killed yesterday in Israel.
Now, I know that when we speak of the Jewish Mafia, most people [...]
No Crying in Baseball No Ties in Football
No Crying in Baseball No Ties in Football
How the hell do you tie a game?
Seriously?
Against the Bengals?
Really?
The Bengals?
Shame on you.
The BENGALS?
Double Meat Animal Style
Double Meat Animal Style
For those of you not within reach of an In and Out, then the above phrase means nothing to you.
For those of you vegetarians, this phrase might as well go over your head.
But, those who are in the know are smiling right about now.
I had one of these today with a diet [...]
Why I Love Sarah Palin
Why I Love Sarah Palin
Cause she is so freaking hot.
Seriously, these pictures were just released of her sitting by the pool during the Republican Governors Convention in Florida this week.
I wish I was there.
I would walk right up to her and start talking.
She would be like, wow your cute, lets go upstairs to my room.
Then [...]
Hot Blonde Casting Director
Hot Blonde Casting Director
Today was HOT.
First I woke up to sirens and a 8.5 magnitude earthquake.
People were yelling, screaming and the carnage was incredible.
Then I found out the whole thing was fake.
Seriously, I kid you not, they freaking faked an earthquake.
I almost had a heart attack, being jolted out of bed, thinking I was gonna [...]
How Bluetooth Works Mom
How Bluetooth Works Mom
I wake up on my birthday and check my phone for messages.
Aunt?
Check.
Grandma?
Check.
But, no mother.
Worried, I make myself a bowl of cereal and checked my email.
Mom wrote me.
Dear son,
I wanted to call and wish you a happy birthday, but I took my phone to Verizon to install the bluetooth and now it doesn’t [...]
I May Be Fat But I Smell Nice
I May Be Fat But I Smell Nice
So, the economy sucks.
Every day I read about more and more companies going out of business and more and more people losing their jobs.
But, who cares.
It’s my birthday.
Shorty got me Dolce and Gabbana cologne and one of those old fashion shaving kits.
I love the smell.
I’m actually wearing it [...]
What is a Super Pear Girl?
What is a Super Pear Girl
I’ll get to my latest obsession in a moment, but first I need to talk about Tic Tacs for a second.
Yeah, Tic Tacs, those delicious candys that come in a small plastic box.
So, as we all know, I have diabetes.
But, just because I have diabetes doesn’t mean that I don’t [...]
My Weekend in the Desert
My Weekend in the Desert
Seriously, I love Palm Springs.
How much more relaxing can you get then waking up in paradise, going out for coffee and then taking a walk.
Walk where you ask?
To get a massage of course.
Shorty got me one for my birthday.
(which is Wednesday by the way)
Anyway, I got on the table, took off [...]
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David Feingold has always been a controversial comic.
Being thrown out of Mrs. Blum’s Hebrew class in 3rd grade for reading a Yaakov Smirnoff comedy book during Bible class cemented that for him.Read more...