Ashley Alexandra Dupré Pictures
If you have no idea who this girl is and don’t recognize her name it’s ok.

Don’t worry, you will soon.

This is the girl that Eliot Spitzer had sex with. (allegedly)

I don’t know if I would have paid 3000 and hour for her, but definitely a few hundred maybe.

I would have used a condom.

Fat Jewish Guy predicts that she will soon be in Playboy, on Oprah, crying with Barbra Walters and doing the reality show thing.

But enough about the Ashley Alexandra Dupré Pictures.

I had a show tonight.

It didn’t go as well as I would have liked for two reasons.

1) It was at a bar and they wouldn’t shut up.

2) I am so sick.

Tonsillitis and blocked salivary glands will not stop the San Diego comedy.

I did my 15 minutes and got off the stage sweating.

The video will be up tomorrow.

Hope I will be also.

However, I think I need a few days of bed rest.

I ate 3 hot dogs when I got home.

They say you need a full stomach to take anti-biotics.

I think I like taking medication.

Whats so funny about Palm Springs?

Is there Palm Springs Comedy?

I have no idea.

What I do know is that it is paradise here.

Woke up to the serenity that was the condo.

No one around.

I knew that there was going to be brunch, but I was hungry.

So, I ate a piece of raisin challah.

Then drank some coffee.

Went outside and looked at the mountains.

Went back in and drank some more coffee.

Then came the bagels.

The lox.

Veggies.

Cream cheese.

More coffee.

After brunch we went to the swap meet.

There was no Dr. Dre there.

It was the coolest place ever.

Nestled in between the mountains, in lush greenery, there were booths that sold everything from hats, to magnetic bracelets.

Made our way back to the condo (which by the way does not mean apartment), and enjoyed the day.

Dinner was spinach nests with sauce.

Appetizers was prime rib and pop corn.

I also forgot how good honeydew is.

However, what I really forgot was how good Eddie Murphy Raw was.

Somehow in this whole day, I was able to find some Palm Springs Comedy.

I got to see my cousin this morning.

Hadn’t seen her in years, but after picking her up from the airport, it seemed like it was just yesterday.

Took her to “Big Kitchen.”

As always the food was great and the company was awesome as well.

We sat outside and talked.

After an hour, we said goodbye and Shorty and I drove to Vegas.
The drive was supposed to take 5 hours, but it ended up taking 8.

I was not happy.

Actually, I was very unhappy.

We sucked it up though, and after such a long drive, we pulled into the hotel.

Upon checking, we were given a cool upgrade.

5 extra feet and free coffee.

Yup, what an awesome upgrade.

High roller treatment.

In honor of Vegas, I had prime rib.

For those of you who don’t know, that means, “poached meat.”

Some find it nasty.

I say it’s tasty.

After all that, Shorty wanted to play some black jack.

I asked a guard where there were 5 dollar tables, and he told me that there was a place called O’sheas that had them.

Some people like to double down on 11.

Some people will put money on double zeros.

I took a HUGE gamble.

And won.

I walked up to the showroom.

Asked to see the headliner.

Told him who I was.

Guess what?

I hit the jackpot.

Fat Jewish Guy will be playing VEGAS on Wednesday night at 7pm.

True, I only get 5 minutes.

But, this is my shot.

Vegas.

If I can make it there, I can make it anywhere.

It’s up to me.

Wait.

That’s New York.

Either way, I’ll take it.

This Saturday November 24th at the Chicken Pie Diner and Filling Station, San Marcos, California.

1020 West San Marcos Blvd
Number 130, San Marcos, Ca 92078

8:30 PM

Aaron Hughes
Billy Robertson
Justin Decker
And
FatJewishGuy (David Feingold)

Plus 2 Special Guests!!

5 Dollar Cover.

http://chickenpiediner.com/

Saturday.

It’s nice to get a day of rest once in a while.

Not like I really do anything important during the other days.

But, you get the concept.

So, I wake up and get ready for lunch.

Chullant.

Which pretty much means I will be sick the rest of the day.

I decided to outsmart my stomach though, and filled up on challah and salad.

Not such a good idea, as I actually ate the same amount of chullant any way.

I have to give props to my roommate Avrum who did make a mean pot of the stuff.

Then, I thought I would get to nap, but that didn’t happen.

Did some work and then I had a show to do.

Comics That Kill in Mission Valley.

I featured for the headliner and got to share the stage with some great comedians.

I also got paid in food which is always nice.

So, I got bagels and lox, coffee, mango smoothie with boba and a handful of Milano cookies.

Think that was it?

Nope, after we were done we went to Cheesecake factory with some friends and shared a salad.

Thank you Jason bang for 20 minutes of great stage time.

And the free food!

Yeah…..

It was my birthday.

I woke up to fresh Dunkin Donuts coffee and dark chocolate.

No brisket today.

There was a party to be had.

A nice 40 minute drive north and I was working on 3 computers at once.

I love doing it, but the treat was when lunch was served.

Chicken taquitos, chicken nuggets and apple slices.

The apples threw me off, but believe me they were a nice touch.

After lunch, I returned to fixing.

About an hour later I was handed a milkshake made of Butterfinger ice cream.

Can you say it’s going to be a great year?

So I finish and drive South.

There was a party and I was the guest of honor.

The guest list was a little eclectic, being that there were religious Jews, Mormons and comedians attending.

The religious Jews were going to bring their own grill and somehow this was all going to work out.

Well, people started arriving and the first round of food was served.

My phone rang and it was the Jews.

I met them outside to help them carry in the grill, when I was greeted by a bucket, charcoal and chicken wire.

No, this isn’t a set up to a joke.

This was their grill.

So, I take it upstairs and decide that it probably is not a good idea to set this mettle bucket on a wooden balcony.

“I know!”

“I will put it on carpet,” I thought to myself.

I mean come on.

Carpet as we all know isn’t flammable right?

So, as i made the kabobs and chicken.

As we ate salad, potatoes, chips, salsa and veggies, we all dint notice the smoke.

I mean it was a BBQ right?

Wrong.

How in the hell did I manage to set a balcony on fire?

Not once but twice?

How did Steph not cancel the party and tell us all to get the hell out?

These are mysteries we can all ponder.

But in the end it was great.

I spend my birthday just as I wanted to.

With friends.

It was amazing and if I am lucky enough to spend every birthday with these great people I will be honored.

Then came the cake.

Then came the brownies.

Then came the macaroons.

And when they finally came for me…there was no one left.

Thanks to: Steph, Hanina, Emanuel, Jessica, Jessica, Tim, Old Roy, Mike, Guam, Brad, Ella, Avrum, Mike, Joe, Vicki & Lou for making this a great night!

I actually exercised today while doing a good deed.

Let me explain.

After showering and eating a scoop of peanut butter, I headed out to help a friend of mine move.

What I didn’t know, was that her husband was deploying to Iraq on Thursday.

So as I was lifting things onto the Uhaul truck, I was talking to him about what he was in for.

It’s crazy.

He is leaving a phat condo in La Jolla to go live in the mountains of Iraq for 6 months.

While I get to tell jokes, he will be defending us.

Then it was lunchtime.

I got to eat a gyro and salad.

It wasn’t much of a sandwich and I ended up just eating it with a fork.

But hey.

I am not complaining.

Then I taught.

Something about referring to the garden of eden as “that magical garden” kind of makes the whole being a Hebrew school teacher thing kind of stupid.

But I love it.

The kids love me.

Oh yeah, then I went to my Russian friends house and got a massage.

Now I am doing data recovery at 2 am for a friend.

Food, eating, moving, and hot Russian chicks massaging.

Not bad for a fat Jewish guy.

Matin Atrushi - Kyle Smith - Brian Moses - Josh Mullins - Mal Hall - Fat Jewish Guy

FREE !!!!

wed night October 17th at the Egyptian Tea Room

Come and join us at 830 PM

FREE

Egyptian Tea Room and Hooka Lounge.
Address:, 4644 College Avenue
Phone:, 619.265.7287.

I am tired.

It’s 4 AM and I just got home.

Yes, it was another late night BBQ session with Joe Charles.

Of course there was turkey involved.

Maybe even some mashed potatoes.

I mean potato salad.

But, whatever food may or may not have been consumed, that’s not the point.

The issue here is, that I was able to put on a great comedy show.

Mike Vinn, Old Roy, Matt Zint, Jessica Kook, Tim Palmer, Jacob Goldstein & Joe Charles made tonight a dream come true.

Well, sort of.

Growing up, I am sure I never said to myself that I wanted to have my own comedy night in San Diego.

I am positive that I never dreamed I would be producing a show.

However, that’s what I did.

Part of putting on a show is knowing what you don’t know.

That’s why I had Jacob.

We built a stage.

Put up a sound system.

The key was promotion and booking.

That’s what I am good at.

50 people showed up.

Not bad for a Jew from Philly.

The day started off good.

Lunch with the rabbi.

Setting up the stage.

Getting a call from a Hollywood director asking me to write with him.

Talking to a bunch of great people.

And oh yeah, doing a ten minute set and having people enjoy my comedy.

The late night BBQ really sealed the deal though.

Looking forward to many many more.

Click here to feed me (tax deductible)

One of the commandments tells you, “though shall not covet thy neighbor’s wife.”

Well, I don’t covet anyone.

I don’t even know what that means.

Actually, if I were to covet anything it would be the awesome rice crispy treat that I am eating right now at the Egyptian Tea Room.

So here is the dilemma.

This girl wants to “bang” me in two weeks.

She is definitely hot.

She is definitely into it.

However, she is also my good friend’s love of his life.

So, what to do?

The answer is simple.

Nothing.

True, friends come and friends go.

So do women.

But, I wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of this.

Therefore, it’s not gonna happen.

However, there is one thing that I would have no problem doing to my friend.

If he is eating a burger and turns his head, even for just one second.

That baby is mine.

Waking up today was hard.

My body hurt and I was still coughing.

As I drove to go shake the lulav in order to fulfill my Kabbalistic duties, I heard on the radio that Brittney spears lost her kids.

How irresponsible of her?

I mean, my mom never lost me.

Well, maybe once at a carnival, but she found me right away.

What is Brittney doing?

Are her children stuck in a kind of Home Alone scenario?

Just them Vs. the Wet Bandits?

It’s kind of scary if you think about it.

Two young children, being forced to spend Christmas alone while their parents go away on a family vacation.

Maybe they will eat ice cream and jump on the bed?

I know I would!