All Entries Tagged With: "birthday"
Heroin Cup Cake
We will get to the picture later.
I woke up in the quiet one’s house.
She made me Turkish coffee and a slice of rye bread with hummus.
Had some things to take care of, so I was on the phone while shorty loaded up the car.
Picked up the Persian and the Mexican and went to lunch.
We went [...]
Borders to Cross… Cups to Pee in.
Waking up this morning, I was hungry.
There were so many possibilities to choose from.
Did I want pancakes?
Churros?
Eggs?
Maybe even a burger.
Nope, I decided that I wanted to eat healthy, so I opted for a can of tuna, a tomato and a cucumber.
For those of you who have been reading for a while, know that this is [...]
Bad Ass Coffee
Yup.
This place exists.
Somewhere in LA there is a coffee shop bearing that name.
I walk in there and get a cup.
“One coffee please.”
They had no idea what I ordered.
Do i want full body or medium?
I said large.
She was like no, what kind of coffee do I want.
I replied with, “Who’s on first.”
I got my coffee.
Also, I [...]
Bucket of Fire
So now I am thirty.
My back hurts.
My prostate is inflamed.
I hate my kids.
So I did what every 30 year old does.
I went out and bought a sports car.
It’s awesome.
2007 Porche.
Red.
Buckets seats.
Die cast metal.
Fits in my pocket.
You know what also fits in my pocket?
A roll of Tums and Tootsie rolls.
I ate some left over kabobs today.
So [...]
The Roof The Roof The Roof Is On ….
Yeah…..
It was my birthday.
I woke up to fresh Dunkin Donuts coffee and dark chocolate.
No brisket today.
There was a party to be had.
A nice 40 minute drive north and I was working on 3 computers at once.
I love doing it, but the treat was when lunch was served.
Chicken taquitos, chicken nuggets and apple slices.
The apples threw [...]
Last Post In My 20’s
Thirty years and nine months ago my parents made whoopie.
Dad was probably dancing to the sweet sounds of KC and the Sunshine Band.
Mom was doing the hustle.
And after a long night of cigarettes and disco they made a baby.
It was a long 9 months, but it was worth it as a beautiful baby boy was [...]
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David Feingold has always been a controversial comic.
Being thrown out of Mrs. Blum’s Hebrew class in 3rd grade for reading a Yaakov Smirnoff comedy book during Bible class cemented that for him.Read more...