It’s not often that I get good health news.

But, today I did.

This is an excerpt from a letter the doctor sent me:

“Although his weight is stable at 260, his fasting labs demonstrate an A1c of 6.2% which is quite good control, and a cholesterol of 213 with triglycerides of 228.”

What?

Hell yeah.

My triglycerides were up in the 400’s two months ago.

Take that cholesterol.

The doctor also said my A1c was good.

Oh yeah!

Who is winning the fight against diabetes?

Hey diabetes…..”Who’s your daddy?”

FAT JEWISH GUY.

I will win this war.

I will crush you.

On another note, I had some good cake tonight at the Persians house.

then Shorty and I came home and made pasta with veggies and chicken.

Then she went to sleep and I ate more chicken, some bisli and a few ice pops.

Then I played some Nintendo Wii.

Yes, I got a Wii!

Then I ate some popcorn.

But, before you criticize please note that according to my doctor….I am doing quite well.

Ha.

Shows you what he knows.

Finally, I can move away from politics for a bit.

It’s been a fun week.

I did ask Shorty if she would let me have a fling with Sarah Palin and she said no.

Guess we can just cross that bridge when we come to it.

In the meantime, there is some trouble brewing in Philadelphia.

Yup, Drew Rosenhaus is at it again.

Now, I happen to like Drew a lot and I think he is a great agent.

However, I don’t like anyone messing with my Eagles.

That is exactly what he is doing and it’s not cool.

So, look at this video and you tell me what you think.

Now, I understand fighting for your man, but this is ridiculous.

Like Liro Shephard lost the starting job to someone who was clearly better than him.

There were tryouts and the better man won.

It’s almost like this election.

Does experience matter?

Who knows.

But, maybe we need like an NFL preseason for politics.

Maybe all candidates need to have a 6 week crash course in management?

Just a thought?

If you think the above line is freaky, just go to SarahPalinsVagina.com

It is the strangest and funniest website.

There are such quotes as Sarah Palin’s Vagina is a loner Dottie, a Rebel.

Anyway, it’s definitly worth checking out.

As for me?

I spent 12 hours reformatting my computer.

I also started using drugs.

It’s not what you think.

Not hard drugs, but even more addicting.

This could ruin my life.

90210.

I sat with Shorty and watched the NEW 90210 last night.

I am addicted.

There was a blow job within the first 5 minutes!

I thought I would just laugh at the show and move on, but I was glued to the TV for 2 hours.

The show is basically the same, just hotter and sluttier chicks.

Oh yeah, they added a black guy.

I’m sure I’ll be writing more and more about this show.

By the way, Sarah Palin’s Vagina likes the new 90210

I was totally planning to write about the cruise today.

But, last night something happened which totally made me change course.

See, Shorty was packing last night and realised that the suitcase was ripped.

We called down to the purser’s office and they told us there was nothing they could do since we didn’t report the damage first thing.

Shorty tried to explain to them that we didn’t notice the damage before because we had unpacked and put the suitcase under the bed.

They finally said that we could chose to repair the suitcase, send them a receipt and they would maybe reimburse us up to 50 dollars.

I had some free time, and about 30 minutes left on my Internet I bought, so I looked at Carnival Cruise’s terms and conditions.

What I found was shocking.

Paragraph A

(a) Each fully paid adult Guest will be allowed a reasonable amount of luggage on board containing their personal belongings. Luggage means only trunks, valises, satchels, bags, hangers and bundles with their contents consisting of only such wearing apparel, toilet articles and similar personal effects as are necessary and appropriate for the purpose of the journey.

Ok, this seems normal.

Reasonable amount of luggage is a little vague, but hey Carnival doesn’t want you to bring 20 bags with you. So, this makes tons of sense.

Paragraph B

b) No tools of trade, household goods, presents and/or property of others, jewelry, money, cameras, documents, valuables of any description including but not limited to such articles as are described in Title 46 of the United States Code section 30503 shall be carried except under and subject to the terms of a special written contract or Bill of Lading entered into with Carnival prior to embarkation upon application of the Guest. The Guest warrants that no such articles are contained in any receptacle or container presented by him as baggage hereunder, and if any such articles are shipped in the Guest’s baggage in breach of this warranty, no liability for negligence, gross or ordinary, shall attach to Carnival for any loss or damage thereto.

Hmmmm…

This now got interesting.

This basically says that unless you got special permission to bring jewelry, money, cameras, documents, and other “items” Carnival is not responsible.

So, Shorty and I had a digital camera, a video camera, my birth certificate, a lap top, and her silver Tiffany necklace on board.

Did we think to ask Carnival Cruises if I could bring a camera?

No.

Does this mean that if someone stole my camera or if the housekeeper would have broken it I would have been covered?

Paragraph C

(c) Carnival shall not be liable for: (1) Guest’s failure to comply with the requirements set forth in Clauses 4(a) and 4(b); (2) any loss or damage before baggage comes into Carnival’s actual custody on board or after baggage leaves Carnival’s actual custody on board, including, but not limited to, loss or damage by airlines or other transportation services; (3) any loss or damage of baggage while not in the actual possession, custody and control of Carnival; (4) damage due to wear, tear or normal usage; (5) any loss or damage of perishable items, medicine, liquor, cash, securities or other financial instruments, or (6) any loss or damage while in the custody and control of stevedores.

I guess the answer is no.

Since I never asked if I could bring my camera on board then no, Carnival does not need replace anything for me.

Paragraph D

(d) It is stipulated and agreed that the aggregate value of Guest’s property, does not exceed $50 per guest or bag with a maximum value of $100 per stateroom regardless of the number of occupants or bags and any liability of Carnival for any cause whatsoever with respect to said property shall not exceed such sum, unless the Guest shall in writing, delivered to Carnival, prior to embarkation, declare the true value thereof and pay to Carnival prior to embarkation a sum equal to 5% of the excess of such value. If Carnival shall be held liable for the loss of or damage to Guest’s baggage or property it is agreed that such liability shall not exceed the lesser of: (1) the actual cash value, or (2) value declared in the manner above provided (up to U.S. $100 if no such declaration has been made). Declared value amounts to be proportionately reduced in any case where less than all of Guest’s baggage or property is lost, delayed or rendered unusable due to damage.  In no event shall Carnival be liable to pay any compensation if the nature or value of the property has been misrepresented.

WAIT!!!

Does this paragraph say that everything in my bag was worth 50 dollars?

Let’s see what I packed.

2 pairs of Lucky Brand jeans. ($110.00 a piece)

1 Tommy Bahama shirt. ($80.00)

2 polo shirts. ($40.00 a piece)

5 T - shirts (13.99 a pice only at ShirtPoppin.com)

7 boxer shorts. (OK I buy these at Walmart, but still worth 3 bucks each)

1 bottle Tommy cologne ($40 bucks)

So, forgetting the computer, camera and necklace, Carnival claims that unless I paid them 5% of the clothes I brought on board, I could never recover any money from them in case of loss, theft or other.

It still gets better!

CARNIVAL’S USE OF GUEST’S LIKENESS
Carnival and/or its promotional partners have the exclusive right to include photographic, video and other visual portrayals of Guest in any medium of any nature whatsoever for the purpose of trade, advertising, sales, publicity or otherwise, without compensation to Guest, and all rights, title and interest therein (including all worldwide copyrights therein) shall be Carnival’s sole property, free from any claims by Guest or any person deriving any rights or interest from Guest.

I am so confused.

I paid 500 dollars to go on a Carnival Cruise and they forever own my likeness?

They can put me in a commercial, a movie, or sell t shirts with my image on them forever?

Only because I decided to take a cruise?

Now, I am all for contracts.

I think that they are essential to make sure that people adhere to a set of rules and regulations.

But, Carnival Cruises seems to be engaging in deceptive practices.

read the full contract here

(and just in case they changed the contract here is a screen grab)

So, to sum up.

Carnival Cruises expects you to have less than 50 bucks in your bag, thinks you should tell them in writing that you are bringing a camera on your vacation and then owns your image in perpetuity?

Hmm..

Sound like a Carnival Cruise Scam to me.

Fat Jewish Guy uncovers.

It’s my last night at sea and I can definitely say that I had a good time.

There were some definite issues with the customer service level on Carnival cruises.

No one speaks English and they are rude and obnoxious.

When Internet is free again tomorrow, you’ll all find out about the shady blackjack dealer, the stupid room service people and the dumb porters who broke our suitcase.

But, let’s focus on the positive.

There were hot chicks everywhere.

There was tons of food.

There was Cabo San Lucas.

And finally, I have video of the cutest back kid EVER.

Stay tuned.

But, back to the title of this post.

We are all watching with bated breath the arrival of Gustav.

Hopefully, no one will get hurt and the levees will hold up.

I actually know the Levey’s as they are good family friends of our from Camp Ramah.

They are good people. and their son is a great musician.

I have confidence in the levey’s

But anyway, some genius Democrat said that Jesus hates Republicans because why else would he have sent Gustav during their convention.

I would personally like to call this person an A hole.

When I find out who he is tomorrow, I’ll also let you know.

So, that’s it.

Gonna enjoy my last night on the boat.

Check out DailyTush.com for some hot tushy action.

Carnival Cruise tush coming soon!

So, I am on a cruise.

No where near New Orleans.

But, as I was about to doc in Cabo, all I could hear people talking about was Gustav.

Sounds like a Russian hurricane, though it could be Polish.

Anyway, I was trying to figure out what to wear to Cabo when I saw the press conference.

The mayor of New Orleans laid down the law.

Get out or no one will help you.

Ohh..

I am so scared.

I gave it maybe 30 seconds worth of thought, then I got off the boat.

Since Internet is 75 cents a minute, I will tell you about Cabo on Monday.

For now, I will just tell you what I ate today.

Bagel, lox, carne asada taco, fish taco, chicken taco, guacamole, chips, hamburger, sushi, fries, onion rings, flat iron steak, potatoes, chicken noodle soup, pizza, salad, ice cream, cake, bread.

What a day.

I love cruises.

Stay safe New Orleans!

Look, it’s gonna happen.

One day you will die.

It is possible also that it won’t be natural either.

With all the Law and Order I watch and all the food I eat, it is possible that I will die in some wierd way and there will be cops trying to figure out how.

Anyway, I came up with a brilliant plan on how to mess with people if in fact something crazy happens to you and you die unexpectedly.

This is what you do.

Make a to do list.

Not a normal one, like something crazy.

For example:

1) Buy crayons, lube and a machete.

2) Remember to wax the corn on the cob before Martha comes over.

3) Talk to Julie about the cregahgh

(notice I spelled that last word wrong, this is so whoever finds your to do list will try and figure would what the heck you meant.)

Anyway, I know this was silly, but if you really want to laugh from heaven follow my lead.

I’ll be quick.

Internet is 24 bucks an hour and I want to be brief.

Don’t need to talk about all that is happening on the cruise.

Forget the fact that I am rocking back and forth.

I kinda like it.

I want to talk about history for a second.

I want to talk about change.

Wow McCain picks a woman.

Crazy.

But, last night for dinner I ate

5 pieces of bread

2 steaks

pb & j sandwich

salad

cake

soup

fries

a burger

This cruise is amazing.

A woman VP … who would have though.

Wow, the convention is over.

Well, at least the democratic one.

In honor of that, lets watch some Funny Political Videos from my friends at BarelyPolitical.

McCain’s Teleprompter Problem

Obama Takes Care of an Old Man in the Twilight of Life

McCain Girl and The Enchanted Republican Forest

Kissing Up to McCain

Obama Girl vs. McCain Girl: Olympics part 5

So, I stayed up all night.

I swore that I was going to go to bed, but I had to stay up and work.

Romadel will not wait while I am on a cruise and therefore sacrifices must be made.

Food was also to be eaten.

Chicken Fingers and Fries from Cheesecake factory.

Yum.

Popsicles.

Yum Yum.

Anyway, back to work.

Needless to say that Romadel Consulting is by far the industry leader in whatever it is that we do.

Check it out.

San Diego Business Consulting