Late Night Cheesesteak at Pats

As I write this, I am sitting on the 10th floor of my mother’s building trying to et a free wireless signal.

It’s 530 am and I just ot home from my food tour.

Shorty had her first Cheesesteak.

Pats Steaks of course.

We also saw a man masturbating in the basement at Pats.

Only in Philly can you see a guy Jerking off in the basement of a restaurant and then say, “hmm…I will keep eating.”

It was delicious, and Shorty…it wasn’t oil.

Then we went to WaWa.

This was after a great night on Broadway seeing Legally Blonde the musical.

Ok.

I liked it.

A little.

Anyway, I am exhausted, more war stories later.

And pictures.

Nothing beats a late night Cheesesteak, mushrooms, onions and Jizz.

I mean Wiz.

Tags: Late Night Cheesesteak at Pats, Pats Steaks, Wahitesaki, white saki

This entry was posted on Saturday, July 26th, 2008 at 1:32 am and is filed under Pats Steaks. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

US Airways Sucks Like Monica

The day started out great.

Sunshine, plane ticket and knowing that I will be in New Jersey by night.

So, I get on the plane and everything is cool.

I informed the flight attendant of my diabetes and was given granola bars, cookies and pretzels.

Not sure that that was really gonna cure it, but man did it taste good.

Then somewhere mid flight I walk towards the back and asked for water.

I drank the water and asked to get it refilled.

Once again, I finished the glass and asked for more.

The flight attendant told me that she wasn’t gonna refill my cup any more.

I asked, “isn’t that your job?” (ok maybe I was a dick)

She said, “no I am here for safety.”

I didn’t want to fight and she was cute and also sick like me so we started talking.

Now we are myspace friends and I am gonna make some shirts for her.

Anyway, I land in Charlotte, and find out that Shorty’s plane was delayed 3 hours.

Worse, my plane was delayed an hour and 20 minutes.

So, I get on a standby flight, get on the plane, sit down and then…..

Security breach.

Some idiot snuck past airport security and the couldn’t find him.

We waited.

US Airways SUCKS!

I told the other flight attendant about the whole diabetes thing and at least I got to eat 3 granola bars while I waited to take off.

Anyway, now I am here, it’s 2 am and Shorty lands soon.

Who cares.

I am on the east coast.

One week.

Then back on US Airways.

Damn.

Maybe I’ll get the hottie flight attendant again?

Tags: hottie flight attendant, US Airways Sucks

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 24th, 2008 at 9:45 pm and is filed under US Airways Sucks, hottie flight attendant. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

I Love WhiteSaki

As I write this post I’m trying to figure out if it’s spelled WhiteSaki or White Sake?

Never too good at spelling.

I think if I have a son, I am going to name him “Teh.”

It’s like a cool name.

Teh Feingold.

I’d be real dick about it and make people pronounce it like the word Taye.

Like the model.

Back to WhiteSaki.

The only time I really drank Sake was back in college with my buddy Scott.

We drank Sake bombs and couldn’t drive home.

It was back in college that I met Lauren.

She was pretty, smart and unattainable.

That was 12 years ago.

Recently, I got back in touch with her.

What is she doing now?

You guessed it.

WhiteSaki.

Apparently it is a line of Sexy Boy Shorts.

Should I maybe tell her she spelled it wrong..?

Na.

I’ll wait till I see her in person next week.

We are going for coffee.

To talk about things that could have been.

Like my son Teh.

New York….Here I come!

Two more Jews on the way.

(Shorty’s coming too!)

Checkout WhiteSaki Boy Shorts review. — Here

Tags: white saki, white saki boy shorts, whitesaki, whitesaki boy shorts, whitesaki novely panties

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 24th, 2008 at 1:05 am and is filed under white saki, white saki boy shorts, whitesaki. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Gonna Miss You Bea

I’m too upset to write anything.

Found out that Bea Arthur died today.

This woman has been the object of so many fantasies of mine.

It’s a shame.

Thank you for being a friend Bea.

Thank you for being a friend.

Please note….by Bea Arthur I mean Estelle Getty. Bea is alive and well and playing mahjong.

Tags: bea arthur, Estelle Getty

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008 at 5:13 am and is filed under Estelle Getty. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Gym Shower Steak

What an amazing day.

I actually went to the gym.

Felt so much better afterwards.

Clean, refreshed and ready for dinner.

It’s not what you think.

The water in my complex broke and I felt dirty.

So, I went to the gym to shower.

Figure I am paying for it anyway, why not use it.

This is all part of my new plan on how to live on 7 dollars a month.

This is how you do it.

1) Move to San Diego
2) join a gym.
2) become homeless.
3) live near a McDonalds.

Ok, so now you are in Southern California. The weather is great and it’s always nice.

You pay 20 bucks a month for a 24 hour gym.

Now you get rid of your apartment and squat near a McDonald’s.

if you eat 2 dollar menu meals a day thats 80 bucks a month.

Hmmm….

Not for me.

I would rather eat the ribeye Shorty bought me.

Tags: Gym Shower Steak

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008 at 5:30 am and is filed under fat jewish guy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Fat Jewish Guy Needs a Falafel Palace

Sometimes I get off track.

I know, I know it’s the ADD.

Yeah, I’ll write about Cool Barack Obama Shirts.

I’ll write about a Funny T Shirt site.

But, what I know best is food.

Today I got a treat.

We were in the Valley and I told Shorty I craved a falafel.

In case you don’t know what that is, falafel is just fried ground chick peas.

Anyway, she hopped on her phone and found me just the place.

Falafel Palace in North Ridge.

We get there and the place looks like a mexican joint.

In fact, it was run by Mexicans.

I was almost going to leave, when I saw out of the corner of my eye some filo dough with spinach in it.

Now, I know you are saying to yourself…, “Big Deal.”

It’s not.

This is the key to the whole story.

They called it spinach Borekas.

So, I knew the falafel was gonna be good.

I ordered a falafel with hummus and chips (papas fritas) and then filled it up from the fixin bar.

Cabbage, tahini, hot sauce, pickles and more.

Yum.

So apparently Falafel Palace is the best damn falafel I have eaten in over two years.

Good job!

Get better cousin!!

Tags: Cool Barack Obama Shirts, falafel palace, fat jewish guy, Funny T Shirt site

This entry was posted on Sunday, July 20th, 2008 at 10:58 pm and is filed under falafel palace, fat jewish guy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Money Tree Shirt

First of all, I want to wish my cousin a speedy recovery.

He felt bad yesterday and went to the doctor.

The doctor told him he needed a CAT scan and so he went.

When he was done, the nurse asked him if he wanted cookies and water and he said yes.

I mean, so would any of us.

Who doesn’t like cookies?

Anyway, on the way home, his dad called and said he had to go right back to the hospital because he needed his appendix removed.

But, when he got there they said he would have to wait, because he ate cookies.

This morning, the operated and there were some complications.

So, he is gonna be in the hospital till Monday.

Hope you feel better.

Me?

I went to a wedding tonight.

It was so nice, outdoors, sunshine, Shorty and free food.

Guys.

I know that weddings seem to be a chore sometimes, but look at this way.

Where else you gonna get FREE steak, salad, chicken, pasta, rolls, coffee, soda, cake, booze and more?

Where else you gonna get to have a dance floor and see hot chicks running around drunk?

No where.

My advice… get a girl friend and go to some weddings.

They are awesome.

Any way, while I was walking around the venue, I saw an old looking tree with a plaque on it.

They called it the Money Tree after some old guy who rubbed it and then won the lottery the next day.

Of course, I promptly rubbed the Money Tree and then made a wish.

Not sure if I needed too make that wish since it was called a Money Tree and not a make a wish tree.

Anyway, I thought it would make a great Tee Shirt and yeah there were a few shirts I found on Zazzle and such.

But, I think I can make a better money tree shirt.

So, tomorrow night ShirtPoppin.com with will have the best Money Tree Shirt around.

Feel better Andrew.

(that was my wish by the way)

Tags: Money Tree Shirt, Money Tree t Shirt

This entry was posted on Sunday, July 20th, 2008 at 1:17 am and is filed under Money Tree Shirt. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.